You know, I had never intended for this blog to be a journal of my trek into a new life phase. Even when someone is ill, you really never think of what things will be like when they are gone. My DH had been ill for a long time. Actually, he had heart problems when I met him. I remember people questioning why I would want to have a long term relationship with someone who kind of had a "clock" ticking. One so called friend even suggested that I divorce him because of his heart problem.
Think about that for a minute...what kind of love allows you to walk away from someone you love and who loves you UNCONDITIONALLY just because they have a health problem? I had made certain promises to my husband...like, in sickness and health, and I try to ALWAYS keep my promises. He would NEVER have abandoned ME, how could I abandon HIM. Besides, I knew about his illness when we married and up till this year, you could NOT tell there was a thing wrong with him. I never could figure out that woman and, frankly, I'm glad that I no longer have her in my life. Perfect example of a toxic relationship.
It's odd, in a way...This last illness kept my DH away from home for so long that, at least right now, I don't miss having him in my bed. I miss not having him to talk to or touch, but right now, sleeping alone is not causing me difficulty. Oh, I know, it could all change at the drop of a hat, and probably will, but for right now, what I miss most is holding hands and just talking about mundane, ordinary things.
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