13 January 2009

Day by Day...

It's been 11 days since my DH transitioned. You know, I've never cared for the term "passed away". It sounds so manufactured. His body, his physical manifestation, is dead. His spirit/soul/whatever it is that makes us human has transitioned to another form. While I don't profess to know what happens when our spirits transition to another form, I do strongly consider that, as related to the law of conservation of mass and energy, the energy that was my DH is still in the universe. What it's next form will be is anyone's guess. My hope is that, since that energy was shaped by love, gave and received love, that when it assumes a new form it will be one of love.

We had talked about this kind of philosophy many times. We used to have the best discussions, exploring all kinds of topics, both those that were a bit off the wall and those that were as mundane as mud. Politics, religion, art, science, food...we enjoyed all that, exploring new ideas and new foods like kids at one of those interactive museums.

This kind of exploration and sharing is one of the things that I will miss most. The simple pleasure of tasting something new and hurrying to share it..."Hey, sweetheart...taste THIS!!".

On a more practical note...I have started pecking away at our house. As I find his belongings, I am putting them in a box. Later, maybe much later, I will go through those things in detail and make the necessary decisions. Same thing goes with his clothes. There are things that should go to charity, although not here in Korea as they're way to big for the local population. I will probably ship them back to a friend for drop off at Goodwill or Salvation Army. There are a few shirts that I will keep because I will rpobably wear them. Including the last Hawaiian shirt I bought him. He only wore it once and with some slight alterations, I should be able to wear it myself. He really liked that shirt, so I will keep that one.

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